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light is gone 2

by Field Medic

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  • Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    Limited to 400 copies, released by Run For Cover Records

    *Please note that this item is a pre-order scheduled to ship the week of September 25, 2023.

    Includes unlimited streaming of light is gone 2 via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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1.
i can't feel my heart it's been robbed & held hostage i'm drunk on loneliness out back weeping shirtless cuz life has lost its spark it's a black & white film strip every night delirious searching for the purpose cuz no one seems to be around me all alone or when i'm surrounded these fucked up thoughts make my head feel crowded my eagerness renders me invalid i tried my best but they're laughing at me wish it had come easier they all seem so happy in the wasteland of my thoughts i search through the ruins for anything that's left to turn into profit
2.
TSION 02:01
i had to wear long pants all summer cuz i got a tattoo that looked like something it wasn't i was in an OCD daze drawing shit on my leg felt like a fight for my life solving that puzzle but that shit is over now yeah i got it figured out fuck me for not thinking it through but it could happen to you i hope that never ever goes down but that shit is over now i used to drink white claws at sun up the guy at 711 knew i was a fuck up man i was so down in the dregs i was all red in the face i was so low i thought it would last forever
3.
there's nothing left when we kiss my lips are telling lies i said i loved you i know i did but my lips are telling lies so go out dancing with him & when he leans to kiss you don't think of me then cuz i won't love you like he can & you deserve attention i'm in my room alone drinking sutter home the bottle's my lover once again & this is what i wanted i said you couldn't come i wanna spend my saturday night like this
4.
i think that i'm going crazy i talk to myself more than anybody else these days are so long & lonely my mind feels like a prison cell how come no one gets to know me how come everyone's staring me down how come it feels like i'm losing when they all say that i'm making them proud everyday feels like a memory i'm outside my body & can't make out the details just when i think i've found meaning i remember i'm the stranger & no one really cares how come i had to quit drinking it kinda sucks to lose letting go of myself the worst part is i'm so ungrateful i'm too self-absorbed & depressed to see everything's going well yeah everything has been going so well
5.
without you i'd have nothing & i might even be dead you put the ground beneath my feet when i fall into my head we celebrate every little thing we're each-other's champions you're the den mama you're the fucking lioness if you didn't love me i'd be lonely all the time you're a deep breath sigh of relief yeah you tranquilize my mind i've stood before you broken like 100 million times i know that cuz we're lovers all across different time lines it's so nice to have you back let's stay in bed
6.
deja vu somehow like a past life in her eyes the look on her face like a reoccurring dream she operates in absurdity like me she's laughing & she's crying simultaneously the words that shape her outlook sometimes seem bleak but she's weeping & she's gracious like the old willow tree when she walks it's a black box theatre scene cuz she's dancing with each movement like choreography the look on her face like a reoccurring dream she's a stranger but i know her somehow subconsciously she's a stranger but i know her at least that's how it seems
7.
they don't care but i do mass market paperback i wish i was like the rest think i'm never coming back can't change what happened what a drag try to kill the empty feeling staring holes into the ceiling watercolors changing colors i took too much now the color's bleeding i don't wanna live like this anymore wake up with a pounding in my head like a door but i can't forget what i lost to the war so i find relief where i can
8.
it all used to pour right out now i'm pouring over a map & when the light hits my face i become a parody of my past cuz now all of a sudden i'm afraid to let anyone know i feel sad cuz everything's been going so well & i want this to last i had to lock up all my problems just to make a dollar & now no matter what i do everything feels hollow
9.
empty arms 03:46
it never gets better wasted six months getting clean my mind's full of terrors my chest shakes with every heart beat i wake in the black veil of dawn all day long i grieve moments that have all slipped away i clutch every broken piece i said i'd die with a song on my lips with empty arms give my final breath away it's all i can to carry on even when the light is gone all the world in shades of gray life's a trap infinite flashback love never felt the same since my first taste of happiness sorrow only remains 

about

For ten years, Kevin Patrick Sullivan has been releasing music as Field Medic–and he’s released a lot of it. Depending on how you choose to catalog his vast and varied discography, the Los Angeles-based songwriter has released five full-lengths and more EPs and singles than can be easily counted, and he’s showing no signs of slowing down. Sullivan’s latest record, light is gone 2, is something of a spiritual sequel to his 2015 debut full-length, but it also marks a sonic shift, deconstructing Field Medic as we know it in order to start an exciting new chapter.

light is gone 2 arrives less than a year after Field Medic’s 2022 album, Grow Your Hair Long If You're Wanting to See Something That You Can Change, and its creation began parallel to that release. “I started recording some of these songs at the same time as the last record,” Sullivan explains. “I was feeling a bit bored of making folk music and was listening to a lot of Trap music, and it inspired me to experiment more with digital recording and different kinds of production.” He began breaking apart his songs, keeping the hooks and diary-like lyricism but replacing the folkier elements with 808s and synths. “At the time I felt like I didn’t really have the skills to make the songs sound the way I wanted them to, so I set them aside,” Sullivan says. “But then this past year I spent more time working on my side project, paper rose haiku, and learning more about production. I started to dive back into the songs, just trying to use new sounds that I wouldn’t normally use, intentionally trying to make them not like acoustic folk songs.”

The process felt invigorating: more than just a songwriting exercise, it also opened up a whole new sonic toolbox to explore. “I think as the creator it does a service to the songs to make the experience of writing exciting again. When you're having fun doing it, it translates into the songs,” Sullivan explains. “I wanted to make choices where I didn’t have anything else in mind except for me and the things I like.” While the sound may be very different, the spirit of the recordings harkens back to Field Medic’s initial LP, light is gone. Where that album marked a turning point in Sullivan’s abilities with the four-track tape recorder, light is gone 2 is defined by his breakthrough with digital and multi-track recording. “I’ve always loved Trap music and New Wave music,” Sullivan says. “I used to try and incorporate those with keyboards and beats back in my lofi days, but now I feel like I’ve finally figured those elements out.” Another benefit of Sullivan’s foray into digital recording was the ability to enlist the help of Chris Walla (Death Cab For Cutie, Tegan and Sara, The Decemberists), who mixed the album remotely from Norway. “I feel like he just really worked his magic,” Sullivan says. “He’s very artistically-minded so when I would say something like ‘I just want the vocal to feel sort of underwater but not drowning,’ he would really understand that sort of language.”

The result is a Field Medic record like no other. Bathed in shimmering synths and powered by a steady drum machine pulse, light is gone 2 feels like a widescreen, 3D version of Sullivan’s work–one that manages to step wholeheartedly into electronic territory while retaining the essential rawness and humanity that makes Field Medic’s music so compelling. Opening track “they all seem so happy” pulls a bait and switch, starting with gentle fingerpicked acoustics before a rush of 808s and keyboards pivots the song into a quasi Trap ballad.

The song also introduces some of the lyrical themes of light is gone 2. “A lot of these songs are sort of reflections on trying to be a working artist,” Sullivan says. “I started trying to do this when I was 19 and I’m 32 now. There’s always something to be made—more music, a video, a flier, whatever. And I think sometimes I would almost feel like I lost myself as Kevin amongst the character that is Field Medic. A lot of this record is about the isolation and dissociation that comes from focusing all your energy on trying to ‘make it.” It can feel like a real rat race when you’re in a bad state of mind, but I think this record has really reminded me that there aren’t really any rules in music.” Songs like the buoyant indie pop of “TSION” or the swooning new wave of “iwanthis2last!” are shining examples of Sullivan’s try-anything approach, while “without you i’d have nothing (& i might even be dead)” and “mass market paperback” seamlessly blend classic Field Medic instrumentation with bubbling production flourishes and inventive use of autotune.

If there’s one thing that’s clear in all of Field Medic’s work, it’s Sullivan’s unbridled enthusiasm for creating, and throughout light is gone 2 there’s a palpable sense of joy in exploring new sounds and styles. “Releasing a lot of music is part of what makes it fun for me,” he says. “I like getting it done and getting it out. I just love to be spontaneous, maybe even a little reckless, but I think there’s a story to be told in songs and that doesn’t need to be perfect–it needs to capture a moment.” Sullivan’s prolific nature isn’t impatience, it’s instinct, and it’s a necessity for a songwriter who simply loves writing songs. “It’s the one thing I really enjoy,” he says. “It’s a daily exercise–I think that’s maybe why I don’t worry about much of anything else other than the song itself. I know I’m gonna make a song today, and then I’m gonna do it again tomorrow.”

credits

released September 1, 2023

all songs written & recorded by kevin patrick sullivan
track 8 co-engineered by derek ted schultz

album mixed by Chris Walla
& mastered by João Carvalho at JCM
all photos by Jason Lin

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all rights reserved

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