1. |
-h-o-u-s-e-k-e-y-z-
03:28
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traded my creative whim
for a level head & a phantom limb
you know chamomile
is sweeter when the sky is blushing too
tell me have you ever thought of leaving your boys behind?
i’ve got no concept of a savior
there’s nothing I could do…
there’s something strange inside me
digging holes with house keys
i’ve grown vulgar, vacant, & angry
so patient & passive
I thought that would make me wise
in my mind i’m a ballerina
straight off of Degas brush
& when I fall I make a pretty pink mess
& in my life I’m just so angry
about all of everything I never got
so when I fall i’m just the ugliest
pale, but raging with darkness
like twilight
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2. |
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when i’m wearing high rise white denim
i’m thinking about your legs
i’m thinking about your eyes
i wanna wake up in your arms
wish you would come over to my place
bring a couple of 32’s
we can pretend we aint gonna fuck
i want you so bad it hurts
when i’m wearing your doggie earring
i’m thinking about your hips
i’m thinking about your neck
i wanna whisper in your ear
wish i could walk up 24th
backpack full of IPA’s
make out & miss the train...
i want you so bad it hurts
when i’m wearing a floral pattern
i’m thinking about your shoes
both your low tops & your boots
i wanna watch you get dressed...
wish we could break up on the beach
then drive back to my house
& hook up on my bed
i want you so bad it hurts
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3. |
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i swear these crows keep getting bigger
hanging off the fence post together
nothing’s moving, there’s no winter
drawn to thrill
drawn to surrender
but somewhere deep inside my memory
there’s a kid with a neck so slender
capsized & ten years later
his arms are tattooed
he looks like a sailor
but i will not mourn who i was that has gone away
now he’s assumed relaxation’s posture
so everyday he’s underwater
isolation, cave mouth darkness
he’s trying to say something
it makes no sense
but somewhere deep inside his memory
there’s a kid who would just go walking
24th street thrift shopping
he looks so happy trying on a costume
how do you perceive the morning sun?
after endless days of dull repetition
are you reaching out or are you reaching through?
are you a ghost in an empty room?
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4. |
bundle of hyacinths
03:02
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you’re filling up my daydreams
you’re a spiritual salve
i’m dizzy, you’re intoxicating
when i see you i hear bells
so i climb into the attic
pull the sheet off of the canvas
to paint a picture of your essence
a bundle of hyacinths…
this lighthouse needs a keeper
it goes searching in the night
i saw you grinning from the top sail
letting the waves act as your guide
i met you at the staircase
with a pink ribbon in your hair
then i lead you to the ballroom & we danced like
we’d been practicing for years…
you’re a wedding ceremony
something timeless made of lace
your music box heart’s always winding
ringing a smile across your face
so i climb into the attic
pull the sheet off of the canvas
to paint a picture of your essence
a bundle of hyacinths
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5. |
HEADCASE
02:18
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please don’t think that i hate you
when i don’t want to see you
i just don’t want you to see me
i’ve been hiding in dark rooms
going to bed early
self diagnosing on WebMD
i used to feel so pretty
now i’ve got a complex
is it supposed feel lucky
when they say i’m just a headcase?
my days pass in a bright blur
while my mind is elsewhere
i’m obsessing over who i could be
if the fog would be lifting
for some relief from this sickness
that beats me into submission
anytime i’m happy
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6. |
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i rode my bike for 15 miles today
& i kept thinking about writing a song
but i had nothing say
& the girl that i been seeing said
“there’s a party going on, come over”
it’s so lonely being sober…
i’m feeling proud & my stomach’s doing better
i even started doing push ups
& my dick’s harder than ever
but the world is far from me now
it used to feel much closer
it’s so lonely being sober
it’s friday night & everybody’s dancing
but i just can’t get in the spirit
i’m just staring & toe tapping
& the band’s playing my favorite song
but it feels so mediocre
it’s so lonely being sober…
so i turn off the lights
& put a match to a candle
& play guitar in the flickering
& make friends with the shadows
but no one’s really with me
& i start to feel much older
it’s so lonely being sober
but at least tomorrow i won’t be hungover…
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7. |
better way
02:35
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i’m untouchable
i’m a silver flame
i’ve seen the future
i know what’s happening
& everything’s gonna be alright
it’ll all be okay
remember that this is your life
so feeling fine is the better way
reflection leaves me short of breath
so i paint my mirror black
there is something that i’ve lost
there is something that i lack
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8. |
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i need love like
june carter love me
till im sober
get these pills off me
& put your arms around me
i need love like
johnny walk the line for me boy
it’s a grand old opry when
you put your arms around me
i dont wanna hear about the world today
something bad is coming be my escape
if wind means fire here comes the flame
i’ll smoke u to the filter
just to savor the taste
i need love like
oldies
there are
blue birds in the moonlight
when i feel
your arms around me
i need love like
monet
paint me like a lily
bridge over giverny
when you put your arms around me
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9. |
older now (it hurts)
03:24
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light be kind to me
when i wanna hide my face
death don’t call to me
when i long to be erased
baby stay with me…
baby stay
life be kind to me
help me live with my mistakes
in my dream i’m home
waking at my own pace
grinding coffee bean & boiling water
breaks the silence
getting dressed i watch my belly
tuck into the high waist
i’m older now
it’s hurts me, ow
owwww
swore to avoid the mirror
cuz one look can wreck my day
tried to quell my fears
then i got mugged & stayed afraid
tried to make new friends
but i just don’t fit
i’m an abstract shape
i keep myself company
like Joni i live in a box of paints
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10. |
before your body goes
02:54
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taking time to be
a small person
still the same boy bent up
the ocean’s my chorus
our love lays before us
i’m twisted not useless…
so i gotta face the page
instead of cracked ribs on the pavement
this retaliation’s ignorant at best
& it’s no wonder why i can’t see
the poetry in anything
i’m a vessel for my own uncertainty
ugliness swallows
& shrieks like a crow
while beauty fades out
of the bay window
god damn your ego’s gotta die
a thousand times
before your body goes…
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11. |
TRANQUILIZED
04:51
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i want to be tranquilized
like a mountain lion
in a tracker collar
put me to sleep
change my batteries…
& i want to be purified
from the depths of this exhaustion
i’ve been living in the fog
i can’t feel anything
& all those awful scenes
flash before my eyes
the hours fall away
i want to be tranquilized
i’m wreaking havoc on all my loved ones lives
cuz i got nothing to offer
cigarette butts & empty drinks
asking for favors
pay you back later…
& i don’t wanna be put on trial
but my face demands an explanation
it’s easy to talk about how to be
once you’ve lost all your abilities…
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Field Medic
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freak folk
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www.twitter.com/_fieldmedic
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www.instagram.com/_fieldmedic
booking: ghorbal@apa-agency.com
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